im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
