she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
