There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
