when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
