The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
