Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
