Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
