ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
