I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
