Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
