shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Come on in and take your pants off
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