So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
