It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
In America we eat man semen.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
