Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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