we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
