Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
