Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize