This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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