You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
