Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
