there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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