Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
