lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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