I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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