Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
