Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize