I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
