I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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