I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
one two three fourrrrnication!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
