Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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