the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
