My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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