I think i peed on brittanys purse
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
