were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Its about making memories worth repressing
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
