she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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