just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
