I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
