I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
