Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
