garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
