bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
