we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I wear drunk well.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
