The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize