How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
