I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
