Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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