can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
