i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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