If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize