After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
