so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
