why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
