We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
