Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
did you just send me my own nude
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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