I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
