I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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