butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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