I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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