I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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