whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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