Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize