That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
