I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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