I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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