No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
